Still alive

I've been offline for awhile but I'll hopefully be back next week. My new work has some serious internet problems but it looks like it's gonna be sorted out next week. Can't wait to catch up on everyones blogs! Have a wonderful weekend ladies! I know I will!

Satisfaction – Drinking with the boys

Crisis, my life is boring at the bloody moment. I’ve gotten into a comfort zone and I’m having a hell of a difficult time to get out of it again. It has almost been 3 weeks since the last time I went out. Apparently if you do something for 3 weeks it becomes a habit.

The last time I went out was such a high and totally out of my comfort zone, that now it looks like my inner self has decided “this is as good as it gets” and therefore has retreated into solitude. Crisis.

But ladies, if I have to say so myself, it was the ultimate. There is no better feeling than being adored in front of the frog that just wasn’t that into you. I went out all by myself. This is not normal for me, I have to have a wing lady at all times. This time I stood strong, got into my car and decided to make the most of the last weekend in the city I have lived in for the past 10 years. I think unconsciously I did it to prove to myself I would be able to go out alone until I make some new friends where I am now.

Anyways, so there I was, chatting to all the guys The Ass works with. Being adored and complimented by all his buddies. (Yes, they were all terribly drunk, but I never fuck-up a good story with the facts).

Buddy of The Ass: You’re so pretty, will you marry me?
Me: You are married
Buddy of the Ass: But if I weren’t I’d marry you. Hey Ass, do you know this girl? She’s great, you should marry her.
The Ass: (Looking very uncomfortable) Yes, I know her.
Me: (HUGE grin, I didn’t have to say a thing)

Ahhh, bliss. The bastard never wanted me. He’s friends adore me, what’s better than that. I think I can even call it sweet, sweet revenge. I hope he had a huge pang of regret. Okay, I’m finished being a revengeful bitch now.

Rest of the night was a blast. All the boys promised to come and visit me in my new town. Although I know that it won’t happen, it was nice that they made such a fuss over me going away. Needless to say, I didn’t pay for any drinks that night. I was invited to go and visit a frog in America, when he moves there and becomes a cowboy. He said he would pay for everything, I must just promise to come. So I made a promise to the wannabe cowboy, why not. If he was serious I’m off to America!

Change is always scary, and I must say I miss the place and strangely enough all the unreliable, drunk frogs as well. I don’t believe in coincidence, there’s a definite reason that the city girl landed in a small town. At this stage I think it might be to support my Dad, he’s possibly (this time I think, definitely) getting a divorce. With the rest I’ll just have to wait and see…

I'm still alive

No, I haven't been committed to a mental institution, although it just might happen in the not so distant future. I've started a new job on the 2nd of March and went on my first business trip ever on the 4th of March. Only came back on the 11th. So ladies, I've been quite busy and haven't been able to blog in a while. I must say I really miss my blogging sessions and can't wait to delight you with a couple of my crazy ass stories as soon as I have time to breath again. Can't wait to read all of the blogs I'm following, think it's gonna take me quite some time to catch up but at least I'll have some good reading ahead of me!

Until next time, adios amigos ladies!

The medicine to my soul...

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body."
~Oliver Wendell Holmes~

Meet my new friend, my pink apple ipod shuffle; isn’t she pretty!

(If you think she’s pretty on the outside, you should hear the inside!)

I just love her, and love her even more because she was sent to me all the way from England by the Damselfly. The Damselfly loaded all my favorite songs and a couple she knew I’d like onto it before she sent it to me. I’m so blessed to have friends like her in my life. She did this when I was going through a rough patch and knew that music is the medicine for my soul. It’s filled with songs that inspire me, songs that let me know that I’m not alone and a couple of dance hits cause she knows I just love dancing!

Friends and Family make life worthwhile, and God has blessed me with wonderful friends and also a great family who really care for me and words can't describe how much I love them.

"The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man's success in life."
~Edward Everett Hale~

I feel very successful today

My Last Obsessive Psycho Post, I Promise

I’ve been ranting and raving the whole week about the Oliver Twist situation and I promise that next week I’ll try to say something relevant, meaningful or profound and it will not be about men or relationships.

I’ve found a flaw in the “He’s just not that into you” movie. They tell you what it means if he doesn’t call but never ever mention what you should do or what it means if he pitches at your door 5 days later.

As I was watching Oprah yesterday, the doorbell rang. I thought it was one of the beggars or salesmen again, so I peaked through the window. And there he was, I was dumbfounded, speechless, the one and only Oliver Twist. I never expected him to come, because the type of guys I’m used to never do what they say they will. Then I realized how absolutely terrible I look! My hair was in all directions, I had a very unflattering outfit on and the house was a complete mess. I immediately remembered my Grannies words: "A lady should always look het best, you never know who you might meet or run into." Well, too late now. So I opened the door and said hi.

I could talk to him forever, he’s fantastic. I haven’t felt this way before, and I don’t know what to do with all these feelings. One thing I do know is that he can’t know about them, that could make a friendship difficult if not impossible.. I totally freaked out when he left, got myself a glass of red wine just to calm down. I don’t want to move to a new town anymore! I’ve wanted to move for the past 2 years and now I want to stay. Go figure, just my luck. Hope I can make the most of the week I have left… and keep this friendship thing going.

I’m so happy today, it’s a wonderful, wonderful life… I'm glad that I was wrong about him and that there are still guys out there who keep their promises.

Here are the Lyrics to one of my favorite songs, thought I'd share. It’s a South African band called The Parlotones. It’s the most heartfelt love song I’ve ever heard.

BABY BE MINE - Parlotones

If I asked you to lay with me
Would you say you are not in the mood?
If I asked you to pray
Would you refuse cause my intentions aren’t any good?
In a world filled with thieves, killers and cheats
Wanting you shouldn’t be a crime
I am not asking for much
All that I am saying is
BABY BE MINE

If I asked you to dance
Would you lie and say you don’t know how?
If I sent you bad poetry
Would your face crease into a frown?
In a world filled with thieves, killer and cheats
Wanting you shouldn’t be a crime
BABY BE MINE

I am not asking for miracles
I am not asking for promises of your hand
All that I am saying is give me a chance
If I picked you wild flowers
Would you say you are not that type of girl?
If I stared at your photo for hours
Would I be weird and out of this world?
A thousand blue blistering barnacles
All that I ask is for a moment with you
BABY BE MINE

HJNTIY

WARNING: I anticipate that this post will include a little bit of cursing.

HJNTIY: The new magic words. He’s just NOT that into you. Fucking genius papa. Yes, you guessed it, I saw the movie last night. And I think all girls, single, longtime boyfriend and married should go see this movie. I’m buying myself the fucking book. (Or at least as soon as I’m in a better financial place, the wedding/roadtrip made a HUGE dent in my budget.)

It all became clear to me last night. My whole dating life I’ve been making excuses for the shitheads I’ve been dating. And it stops now! I’m the rule, not the exception. If he’s not calling it’s not because he’s writing a big exam on Wednesday and doesn’t want to get distracted, it’s because he DOESN’T WANT to call you. If he’s not committing to you, it’s not because he’s come out of a bad relationship and is afraid of commitment; he DOESN’T WANT to commit to you. I know it’s harsh, but we should stop making excuses for them to make ourselves feel better. I’ve done it a hundred times to help a girl friend feel better after she’s been dumped, and my girl friends have done it thousands of times to make me feel better. But it’s actually crueler to do this than to just face reality and move on. I felt a little taken aback at times, in the movie it’s the hard reality. Walking out of the movie, I spotted a couple of girls in tears and my heart went out to them because I knew that they now know that they have been wasting their time. I felt kinda shit as well, I offered friendship to Oliver Twist and he doesn’t even want that. If a guy doesn’t even want your friendship you should really wake up and smell the fucking coffee, I mean really.

So, I’m buying myself that damn book (maybe the movie as well, just to make sure I have it right) and will be using it from now on as my text book to dating. I’ll be saving myself a lot of agony and aggravation if I just stick to the HJNTIY rules. And if HE IS INTO ME I won’t be necessary for me to have to make any excuses for his behavior. I deserve someone that IS INTO ME, we all do.

NEVER LOSE HOPE, he’s out there. I always say my Prince Charming fell of his white horse and is currently residing in ICU, they have to release him at some time right?!

I've been tagged...

CJ tagged me, so here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone?
On my desk
2. Your significant other?
Nope
3. Your hair?
Dark brown, shoulder length
4. Your mother?
Is in Heaven
5. Your father?
Superman and 1 hell of a guy
6. Your favorite food?
Seafood/Italian
7. Your dream last night?
Can’t remember but suppose it was about Saturday nights kiss
8. Your favorite drink?
Red, red wine
9. Your dream/goal?
Be Successful and happy
10. What room you are in?
My Office
11. Your hobby?
Keeping in touch with friends, blogging, music, reading and dancing.
12. Your fear?
Not finding True Love
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?
Doesn’t matter, as long as I’m happy and I feel I’ve accomplished something.
14. Where were you last night?
Home Alone
15. Something that you aren't?
Aren’t trusting in the male specie at the moment
16. Muffins?
Banana
17. Wish list item?
For things not to be weird between me and Oliver Twist
18. Where you grew up?
South Africa
19. Last thing you did?
Read CJ’s blog
20. What are you wearing?
Jean & Top
21. What is on your TV now?
At work now, no TV
22. Your pets?
none
23. Friends?
My everything
24. Your life?
Uncertain
25. Your mood?
Hopeful
26. Missing some one?
Yes
27. Car?
VW Golf
28. Something you're not wearing?
Earrings
29. Your favorite store?
Temptations
30. Your favorite color?
Red
31. When is the last time you laughed?
This morning
32. Last time you cried?
Last Night
33. Who will resend this?
Blogger Friends
34. One place that you go to over and over?
Saturday Night
35. One person who emails you regularly?
Little sis, BFF’s & Will
36. Your favorite place to eat?
Chonkies in 2nd Avenue
37. The thing you hate most?
People that are not Honest or say things they don’t mean.
38. Your greatest challeng?
Love

If you've just read this, consider yourself tagged!

Roadtrip

We spent the biggest part of the weekend on the road. The wedding was bloody far away. Nevertheless, we had an awesome time. We stopped at all the nice spots along the way.

It was raining all the way, so it was misty and so, so beautiful. If you’re ever in Graaf-Reinet, you have to stop and have a look at the Church in the middle of the town, it’s gorgeous. Also go & have a beer at the hotel, it has this kind off colonial feel about it. We sat outside looking at the mountains, drinking our ice cold beers and played poker. I wasn’t really in the mood for poker but kicked Socialite & Dee’s butts both times we played, what can I say, if your good your good!


Next stop was the mall in George, we spent an whole hour looking for the damn thing. George is a smallish town, and we couldn’t find the big mall, go figure. We we’re all on our cell phones trying to get directions from people that know the town. Eventually found it, and in the first ten minutes I managed to break my shoe. I don’t like being bare feet so I decided best way to handle this crisis is to drag my foot behind me, I looked like I had a limp, but didn’t bother me that much, at least I had shoes on.

We drove through misty mountains, finally reached our destination for the day. We were at my grandparent’s beach house; I have great childhood memories there and felt I that have come home. Went down to the beach, joked around and just walked while the sun was setting. Ate pasta and drank red wine and then did our nails for the wedding. With all the red wine we had to do it a couple of times before it finally came out right.

Next day we went on a wine tasting before the wedding and then picked our own grapes in one of the vineyards. They give you a box and then you pay per kilo. At one stage we realized that everyone was moving closer to where we were. We were extremely loud and cracking ourselves up over everything. The nice grapes were on top, so the Socialite got on all fours, Dee climbed onto her back & I was holding the box. We felt like celebrities, cause everyone in the vineyard was taking photo’s. Keeping in mind that it was after our second wine tasting, this was quite normal behavior.

We we’re almost late for the wedding. Misjudged the distance we had to drive on a wet dirt road but luckily made it. The venue was gorgeous and there was so much food! Cheeses, figs and homemade bread we’re served while we waited for the bride. I was sitting at the single’s table as usual. I was quite surprised to see who was sitting at the table. I knew how the table originally looked like, but the Confidant who was one of the brides maids had changed it the night before. Knowing about my crush on Oliver Twist, she moved him to our table. I was ecstatic, but kept my pose. He asked me for the first dance of the night and it was great. The sea breeze & mountains intoxicated me even more and I was partying like it was 1999. Everyone was dancing in a circle, with me dancing in the centre most of the time. Thank heavens they didn’t play that song “shake that ass” cause I would have taken centre stage and shaked my booty for all it’s worth. Around 12 someone told me that it was last round at the bar, so I bought myself I think 3 drinks. After another half an hour someone told me the bar is closing. I went into panic mode, grabbed a hat and started a fundraiser to bribe the barman to keep the bar open. Luckily he said we didn’t have to bribe him, so I gave everyone back their money. This makes me feel kinda bad seeing as a little earlier we took a bottle of Jagermeister while they weren’t looking. I had many, many Jagermeister shots that night, also gave Oliver Twist one just before we went to “dress up” the car. Now the rest of the night I’ve already told you. He hasn’t called yet, which makes me kinda nervous but he does have a big exam on Wednesday.

Sunday we reluctantly drove back to the Free State, I was tired a hell not having slept more than two hours the previous night, and also emotional about having kissed Oliver Twist, but then we stopped at my happy place and it felt like everything will be okay. My happy place is a Waterfall in the mountains in Meiringspoort. Even though I have seen it a thousand times before it still takes my breath away. While lying on my back staring up at the waterfall, the mountains and the blue, blue sky, I knew that every single thing of the weekend was worth it.

Baby be mine… if only in my dreams.

Beware: I’m sad, this is not an inspirational, uplifting and funny post. That one will be coming along tomorrow together with all the wedding/roadtrip shenanigans we got up to. But now my heart hurts and I need to talk about it.

My throat is so soar, I spent 10 hours in a car holding back my tears on our way home from the wedding. Sometimes I slipped up and my shades filled up with tears, it looked like a river ready to burst its walls. I think the Socialite and Dee saw the threatening waterfall , but they pretended not too notice. You know when you want something with your whole heart and then you get just a little taste, you want it even more cause it’s everything and much more than you imagined. It’s like taking a test drive in you dream car, and having the time of your life doing it… and then it ends and you know you’re not able to afford it now or even in the nearby future, but having had a taste, you want it even more. That’s how I feel today. I wish I never took the test drive. And I’m someone that believes that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I screwed up. The groom has a friend, one that I have managed to get one massive crush on, and I don’t do crushes. I decided before the wedding, if there was even a very remote chance of me kissing Oliver Twist (a.k.a the crush), I will pass it up. I like him so much that I would rather have him as a friend (that I secretly have a crush on) than kiss him and risk the chance of things being awkward and not having him in my life at all.

We went to the Happily Married couple’s car to “dress it up” for when they leave on their honeymoon. It was me, Oliver Twist, The Socialite and the Player. Me & Oliver Twist was tying cans to the back of the car while the Socialite & the Player was supposed to be writing “Just Married” on the windows. When I quickly stood up, I caught them in a passionate embrace and duck down again.

Me: I think their busy
OT: They should be, they have to do the front of the car.
Me: Noooooo, their busy, if you catch my drift. I think we should stay down a little while longer.
OT: Oh, I see. Well, shouldn’t we just follow their example?

This was followed by me rambling on and on that although I want to, I don’t think we should because I don’t want things to be awkward. And then he kissed me… and my heart stopped, my knees went weak and I got a glimpse of heaven. We found a place less obvious and just kissed & talked for about another half an hour. After everything I drank that night I was wearing my heart on my sleeve, I never directly told him that I liked him but from all my ramblings it was obvious and if he didn’t catch on, he must be deaf and blind. After the wedding we were all supposed to go to the place where OT and his friends were staying to continue the party. The Socialite was supposed to get us there, cause she knew how to get back to the place we were staying. Her hormones took over and me & the Confidant found ourselves without our GPS (The Socialite). We had to sleep at the OT’s place, something I really didn’t want to do. I slept with him in his bed, cause there wasn’t any open beds. We only slept, but it felt so cheap to me. I’m normally not such a prude about things like this. But he makes me want to be a better person. And it didn’t feel right sleeping next to him on the same night we kissed for the first time.

Now here’s the problem, I’d rather have him as a friend, and be certain that he is in my life and hide my crush than have him feel he has too avoid me cause he doesn’t want to hurt me by not returning the affection. It was the perfect night and the perfect kiss, but I wish I could take it back. I feel vulnerable and exposed now. I tried to tell my heart it’s a crime to fall in love again. But after that kiss, my heart is loudly protesting. I’m moving to another town the end of the month…

I’m the queen of one night flings, but I don’t want to be his one night fling.

I would rather still have a secret crush on him, and have my dreams where everything is possible and he is crazy about me too. Now it’s gone, and I would do anything to get it back, cause it’s much better in my fantasies than it is in reality…

The big V-Day...

14 February 2008 is when Valentine's Day finally took a turn for me. And it’s not because I found the love of my life. I’ve always hated V-day. It seems like I always miss the big day, then I feel depressed and alone because everyone is sharing it with someone special except for me. Last year I spent V-day with the Confidant & the Socialite and we had a blast. Good food, good company, champagne, we we’re singing along with the piano player. (Although we shouldn’t be allowed to sing) But it was a perfect V-day.

This year is going to be even better. We’re leaving early tomorrow morning on a Roadtrip! We’re going down to the coast, and will be sleeping in my Grandparents beach house on Friday night and on Saturday we’ll be going to the Bride’s wedding! We’ll be stopping at all my favorite spots on our way there and it’s been ages since the I’ve been at the Beach house, it’s my Happy Place, so I’m really looking forward to it. The Bride decided to get married on V-day because she’s always hated it, and now she’s making it quite a memorable day! Me, the Bride and the Groom we’re talking about being perfect and loving someone the other day. I believe in this quote:

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

~Sam Keen~

The Bride & Groom isn’t perfect, no one is, but they love each other perfectly and I feel so privileged to have had the chance to learn from them. They are amazing people. And their wedding is going to be fabulous, it’s like a mini Varsity reunion! Wish everyone could be there.

So this year I’ll be spending my V-day at a wedding – single but it doesn’t bother me in the least. I’ll be spending it with people I love and isn’t it what V-day is all about. Being with people you love.

This is one of my favourite quotes, and I believe it’s the perfect single girls quote:

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything goes wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles"

~Audrey Hepburn~

What an absolutely classy lady Audrey Hepburn is!

So girls, single and those who have met Mr. Right or even just Mr. Right Now, I hope you have a fabulously exciting V-day. I know I will…

In the very true words of the Legen….. wait for it DAIRY Barney Stinson:

“Taking a date to a wedding is like taking a dear carcass on a hunting trip…”

I’ll let you know how the hunt went on Monday…

18 till I die

… cause I sure as hell don’t act like a 24 year old. Me & the Socialite had dinner and way, way too much red wine on Friday night to celebrate my birthday. Then we headed into town. Our favorite bar was a bit on the empty side, so we went down the street to have some shooters with Paris Hilton and her posh. Now even more intoxicated, we went dancing.

This is where I started acting very, very maturely (yeah right)

Me: Hallo Random Person I Don’t Know.
RPIDK: Hallo there
Me: It’s my Birthday today!
RPIDK: Well, happy birthday, hope you had a great one.
(RPIDK trying go exit the conversation)
Me: Aaaaand, I got my degree, actually 2 degrees (holding up 2 fingers, just in case he never learnt how to count)
RPIDK: That’s just great. Hope you enjoy your night (making a dive for it, just in case I had something else to say.)
Me: Bye now! Chat later again okay?!

This continued pretty much the whole night, there was however some undesirable frogs who tried to congratulate me with a kiss, yuck. So then I ducked and dived to get away from them. What do they say; “What goes around, comes around”. And then of course there was the absolutely gorgeous frogs, who also gave me congratulatory kisses. Aaahhhh, bliss.

It was my night of saying inappropriate things. One of the celebs, Jurie from Boer soek ‘n vrou. (Farmer looking for a wife, everyone in SA watched this show! Why I don’t know.) Looked really uncomfortable after about 2 minutes with me, can’t exactly remember what I said, but apparently he didn’t think It was as witty as I thought It was.

I then decided to do some marketing, I do have a degree in marketing you know. The lucky candidate was Great Smile. I marketed myself as a great package deal, one month only, the package name “A casual relationship”. Although I know that Great Smile doesn’t do casual, I gave it my best shot. Flirted scandalously, and at the end of the night after I gave him a lingering kiss, I saw a glimpse of definite regret in his eye as he regretfully declined my offer. Before I walked away seductively I cockily told him: “You know you just love kissing me…” And as I turned away there was a very brief glimpse of disappointment in my eye. I didn’t really want the casual relationship deal with him, unfortunately that was all I could offer at this stage. Apparently this package doesn’t sell so well, so I'll definitely be holding it back until I get a better buyer.

That’s when Mr. P text me, and told me how much he enjoyed seeing me again. Not really thinking about the implications this might have, I called him and asked if he wanted to come and have coffee at my house. The sun was almost up, so I thought coffee was appropriate. Not once did it cross my mind that he would actually try to kiss me, but he did and before I knew it, we were in my room. I stood strong, but eventually gave in. I’m only human. Then the most embarrassing thing ever happened, the Socialite walked in on us… and we weren’t holding hands. Oh fuck, yes my words exactly. But we’ve decided that were even now, seeing as I walked in on her in our 3rd year at varsity. Then I had to sneak him out of the house without any of my conservative housemates noticing. I saw a gap, thinking there was finally no one home. Woke him up and told him he had to leave pronto!

Me: (In the garden) It was nice to finally get to know you better
Mr. P: Yes it really was
Me: In more ways than one…
Mr. P: (Just laughed and gave me a kiss goodbye)

When I went inside the house again, I spotted someone through the window… it was the Brides bloody orchestra for the wedding who came to practice in the garden! Oh shit, I immediately knew they must have heard every single word of the above mentioned conversation. So I went into hiding in my room, I wasn’t able to face them. But I’ll have to at the wedding this coming weekend. Yes, yes I know. I’m an embarrassment waiting to happen. I think I should go on Prozac or something cause I can’t keep this up. Well it’s official now. It’s not about wanting to move to another city anymore, now I have to move to another city…

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeee!

It's my Birthday, yeah! And even beter, I passed my last exam and I will be receiving my degree and honours at the Graduation Ceremony in April! I've got the rest of the day off, and will be leaving the office right after this post. I'm finally going for a haircut, so that I look all pretty tonight when me and the Socialite will hit the town! She's also cooking me and some friends dinner tonight, can't wait! I have the best friends in the world, they always make such an effort to make my birthday special, cause I don't really like Birthdays so much and they are completely aware of this. The Damselfly is sending me something special with instructions from England! I can't wait, and she knows she's driving me mad by just giving me hints. Thus I will be stalking the mailbox from now on! The Bride & Groom made my favourite breakfast this morning (french toast), I'm really going to miss them when I move out and the Groom moves in, but I wish them all the luck in the world, they deserve it. They make such a wonderful couple. And the Confidant just called me, and it was so nice to hear her voice again and she told me about all the crazy things our shared dog, Bella did! Can't wait for the wedding next weekend to see her again! I think the Partner in Crime forgot, so I'll just have to call her tonight and wish myself a happy birthday! Watch out town, tonight I'm on a roll! I think I'm going to have a fabulous day! Have a great weekend girls!

Embarrassment is inevitable

I just read Chelsea talks smack and seeing as I don’t really have something to blog about, yet, I might just as well let you in on a few secrets. I’m waiting for some good news but won’t blog about it until I’m completely certain. So stay tuned. Shit, I have some very strange trust issues. Anyhow, I wish I only had one really embarrassing moment, but hence, I have quite a few. Fortunately there are some that I don’t remember and planning on keeping it that way. Today I’m going to regale you with those I do remember. Starting at the least embarrassing one.

Grade 12 was my year for the most embarrassing make-out incidents. You know when you’re somewhere you shouldn’t be, the best thing to do is to try and keep as quiet as possible. Nope not me. After partying hard, we went for a night cap at a friends house. His parents were out of town. Me and the one froggie got on quite nicely, so after a really romantic cheesy “We should seize every moment”, he took my hand and led me to one of the bedrooms to kiss in private. Unfortunately this was the parents room, not the place I wanted to be as we were told too stay out of it. Caught in the moment, we started to kiss, I was sitting on top of him and when I went in for a very passionate kiss, I put my hand on the remote. TV on at full blast. I got such a fright I almost fell of the bed. Next thing I do is to frantically try to shut it off, but I keep finding the wrong bloody remote and he’s laughing at me. The best part of this story is, at that stage he was already at Varsity and now he’s in one of the really popular SA bands, just my luck. Make no mistake, 6 years later, he still remembers me. Great stuff.
I also had one where I came out of a room very discretely, not wanting anyone to know what I have been up to, but then gave myself away with my top, being inside out and all.

During Rag one year we had a dress up party, I went as a playboy bunny, armed with a playboy t-shirt, shocking pink stockings with fish nets over it and bunny ears. It was a tequila party where the tequila was cheap as hell. So after having some pre jello shots at the Res, we started drinking tequila. Needless to say, I got very “happy”. Somehow I managed to find myself a yellow ballerina tutu, put it on and started doing plie’s, whilst stroking my bunny ears and asking anyone who would listen if I looked cute. This continued pretty much the rest of the night all over campus. It’s actually surprising that I do remember this specific incident.

Once upon a time there was this KFC ad, with the girl buying an ice cream and then getting into the back seat of her car instead of the drivers seat. The catch phrase being “Feel like a kid again”. I truly wish that could have happened to me. I went to McDonalds to buy myself a well deserved McFlurry, with the whole campus in the mood for Mickey D’s, I decided it’s best to skip the drive thru and just go in. In I went, got my McFlurry, got back into the car and wondered who had moved my seat cause I can’t reach the petrol, then I looked at the radio and realized that it’s not quite the same as mine, the thing that really surprised me was how neat my car was. Then it hit me, holy crap this is NOT my car. By some total freak of nature, I managed to use my key to open the door of someone else’s car. Fortunately I didn’t get faced with some hysterical kid with a more hysterical mom thinking that I’m the newest serial McFlurry Kid kidnapper. Lucky me. I then got out, praying that no one saw me, especially not the owner of the car and went looking for my car.

Last but not least. I went to a wedding, with a really nice, but wide dress on. I was the perfect weather for a Marilyn Monroe incident. Which probably would have been okay if I hadn't been wearing one of those really ugly grandma, tummy controlling panties. My date couldn't see anything, phew! But then one of the older men walked by and told me; "Yes my dear, the wind is blowing."

So there you have it, please do share as well…

When you're in the Mood

My countdown of the 15 most passionate/hot (sometimes naughty) songs ever…

15. Kiss you all over – Exile
14. Black Velvet – Alannah Myles
13. Holding out for a hero - Bonnie Tyler
12. Simply the Best - Tina Turner
11. Fingers – Pink
10. Private Dancer - Tina Turner
9. Poison – Alice Cooper
8. Golden eye - Tina Turner
7. You took the words right out of my mouth - Meatloaf
6. I’d do anything for love - Meatloaf
5. I’d lie for you - Meatloaf
4. Couldn’t have said it better - Meatloaf
3. Touch it – Monifah
2. Kiss me – Indecent Obsession
1. Original Sin – Taylor Dayne

I just love music and normally if I make compilation CD’s for myself, I categorize them into different moods. Haven’t made this one yet, but planning on doing it in the nearby future. Seeing that I’m seriously single at the moment, I won’t need it right away. I just wanted to put it up for future reference. It’s not like I’ll be single forever. Just waiting for some unexpecting froggie to trip over my charm and then I’ll reel him in.

Wish me luck, I’m giving a speech at my Grannies Surprise Birthday party this weekend, she’s only turning 70, but my family will use any excuse to force everyone to get together. It’s bound to be dramatic, with loads of crying and occasional opinion that wasn’t asked for, it’s been a while since we’ve all been together. I can’t wait, I need some excitement in my life, and this will do perfectly at the moment.

I want ... Life

It’s so easy to look back and say I miss the good old days, I want to go back. I want to be young, reckless and carefree again. The past is safe, you know what happened, you know now how it ended but what about now? I got a tattoo to remind me to never forget now, cause it might be all you have. Appreciate and enjoy what you have now. And even better, what about the future. Although it’s unsure and there is the possibility that you may not always succeed, sometimes fail miserably it’s thrilling and exciting and ready to be explored!

Bell Book & Candle wrote a song Rescue me, it’s my all time favorite song because it’s about being alive, not half heartedly alive, but fully alive. It’s about feeling everything, living everything. All your senses to be alive, hunger, anger, crying, laughter, pain, joy and especially love. Because the greatest gift of all is Love. Pain is an inevitable part of life, if you don’t have pain, you’ll never fully experience ecstasy, cause you won’t know any better. Most people, I think almost everyone has been hurt in some way. It’s a choice what you do with that pain. You can use it as an excuse for everything that’s wrong in your life (wise words from the Damselfly) or you can use it to be more aware, more compassionate, a better you.

Today I realized that there are actually a lot of things in my life that can take away my passion, make me hide my heart from the world and everyone that could possibly hurt it. But I want life. And even if it’s painful sometimes at least I’m feeling something and that way I know that I’m living. So bring on Life just the way it is, I’m ready for it. I have Faith, I Believe that everything is going to work out just the way it should.

At this stage, I don’t know how it should work out, but I’m glad. That would take away from the excitement, the chase to have the life I’ve always dreamed about. Maybe next year this time, me and the Damselfly will be conquering New York with red lips to give us the edge, dressed to kill so that no one can miss us. Maybe I’ll still be in dear old South Africa in a job I love. Or even in Korea, finding myself. And Heaven forbid, planning my wedding! The opportunities are endless. It doesn’t matter where I end up, I’ll enjoy the now and still keep on dreaming about the future. I found this inspirational quote in my inbox today;

"Interestingly, koi, when put in a fish bowl, will only grow up to three inches. When this same fish is placed in a large tank, it will grow to about nine inches long. In a pond koi can reach lengths of eighteen inches. Amazingly, when placed in a lake, koi can grow to three feet long. The metaphor is obvious. You are limited by how you see the world."

-- Vince Poscente

I want to swim in the ocean.

The night I almost lost my keys 3 times...

I’m back. I wrote my last exam on Friday, hopefully forever. I always reward myself after working really hard on something. And I thought I deserved a nice hot make out session for all my hard work, and I had the perfect candidate in mind…

Let me start at the beginning, The Socialite came back from her vacation on Friday and saved me from a lonely night celebrating by myself. She dragged me off to the varsity RAG (Remember and Give), on the RAG farm. Not wanting to pay (the very high) entrance fee, if we weren’t planning on staying, we trampled into the dark, long grass trying to see if there was anyone we knew inside. Now, I don’t particularly like doing bundu bashing when I’m dressed to go out. On second thought, I don’t really like it anywhere or at anytime, so me complaining was inevitable. But off we went. Either I’ve lost some weight or my favorite jeans had some plans of their own, but they kept creeping down, which made them even longer than they already were. So I kept pulling them up, and after trudging through some funny smelling water (don’t ask, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know), I put down my car keys and started rolling up my jeans. Guess what I did next. Yip, you’ve got it, I left the keys right there in the middle of the bloody bushes. Luckily I found them again, or should I rather say The Socialite did. Realizing than we were ancient in comparison with all the first year students, we went to our usual place, where we found everyone we knew. I went and changed into a jean without any plans, only one that’s allowed to have plans is me. I however think my jean will fit again after the weekend. WEEKEND = EAT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

On arrival I spotted the candidate, I was hoping that he would go out, but wasn’t quite sure cause we have a strictly NO cellular, e-mail, facebook contact rule, which works the best. We don’t want to complicate things, if we’re at the same place at the same time we normally have a play date later that night. I did accidentally lose The Socialite with my car keys (again), she thought it would be safer with her. I stayed with the Playmate while she was on a guy’s back, who was the only guy we didn’t know, playing Wild Wild West. Fortunately she found me again, and for a change I had keys and managed to hold onto them. So after loads of drinks and shooters, we headed home. He had to follow me in his own car, cause he couldn’t quite remember where I lived. But then he turned right, when I went straight and I lost him. So I went home, thinking there will be no hot make out session with the Playmate tonight. I couldn’t call him, because I don’t have his number. Went inside, started undressing when I heard a car at the gate. He found his way to me, yeah! Play date back on! I just assumed he got lost, that’s why he took so long. (As you know; Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups, he went out to buy condoms). Something that you need to know about me and the Playmate, there are very strict rules about what he is allowed and what not. I will never ever have sex with this man, strange but true. He never obeys the rules, we however never have sex and disagree about the rules the whole time. I just wanted a nice high school make-out session and was absolutely exhausted the next morning cause I spent all night fending of his advances. He even left me with a few surprises (what he thought was funny pranks, and what I thought was immature childish shit). There were cupcakes on the kitchen taps, toothpaste on the bathroom mirror; I was soaked with water, full of mouse and body lotion and the absolute worst, my house keys in the trash. I resembled a wet, very irritated cat and as if I was in the mood to be searching for keys, AGAIN.


Needless to say I was fucking furious, but I’m cured of the Playmate now, that wasn’t fun at all and won’t ever happen again. I’m working on being a more responsible grown-up lady at the moment. And he’s going to seriously screw that up for me if I keep seeing him for play dates. I feel that every time I screw up yet again, I at least have a clearer vision of what I don’t want. Which brings me closer to what I do want. Maybe I’m doing it backwards, but I’ve never been prone to doing things the right way. And if you don’t know what you don’t want, how will you ever know what you do want.

Excruciating Detail

Well, there’s still a big fat hole in the carpet, but on the bright side it’s not four big fat holes like I initially thought. There are still streamers hanging from one or two lights that the DM missed, but the house actually looks quite good.

Now back to the night in Question. After the Hen’s party we went to a place called Wild Boar. Now contrary to what you might think seeing this name, this is not the most dodgy place you can go. You could do a lot worse, anyhow, let me start by telling you how violated I felt. My ass was severely grabbed by two assholes that night. The first one was Prince Charming ( http://theprincefrogchronicles.blogspot.com/2008/11/prince-frog-theory.html ). I bumped into him on my way to the bar. No hello’s, how are you or how have you been, he just grabs my ass.

Me: (removing the offensive hand) what the hell do you think you’re doing?
Prince Charming: I are doings nothings, yous dances with meeees
Me: You know you’re a complete ass.
PC: You dances with me’s nows.

That’s when I realized this conversation and confronting him about the other night is completely and utterly useless. If there was a slightly strong wind, he would have blown over, in his utter intoxicated state.

Next asshole, catches me completely off guard or I was just an idiot. The Engineer ( http://theprincefrogchronicles.blogspot.com/2009/01/al-grown-up-or-maybe-not-quite-yet.html ), who furiously pursued the Confidant, turns out to be nothing more than a horny drunk bastard.

The Engineer: (pointing to my skirt and shouting above the music) Turn around
Me: (Shouting back) Is there something on my skirt? (So I turned around, and felt once more a full on ass grabbing)
Me: What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!
TE: I just couldn’t help myself

You should know that I, like most women don’t particularly like my ass, so having random men groping at it the whole time is quite traumatic for me. So I decided to go and plant my big ass on a chair, that way the temptation to grab my big ass was out of the question.

At least there were some of my friends who I wouldn’t actually call gentlemen but fortunately acted like gentlemen, told me how great I looked and this time I actually believed them. Jack Daniels even asked me if I wanted to go out sometime, what a surprise!

Well, planted on my big ass, afraid to stand up again and being violated yet again, I stayed put. The best thing I did all night. That’s when I met Dr. Plant. At first I wasn’t interested at all, but then we started talking and this man could actually have a conversation with me without trying to turn me over and grab my ass. We talked about everything and anything. But I’ve encountered a problem in my conversions with the male specie. It seems that I have the ability to make them uncomfortable, and I’m clueless how I manage to do this. So being at the Hen’s party, drinking potent tact stripping punch the next conversation took place.

Me: Why do I make you uncomfortable (smiling suggestively)
Dr.P: You just want to hear me say it to boost your ego.
Me: Ego, what ego. It’s only fun making people uncomfortable on purpose not by accident.
Dr.P: Not telling you, you want an ego boost.
Me: (So I smile at him, look him deeply in his eyes) Why?
Dr.P: (breaking down) It’s when you smile like that, and look so deeply in my eyes that your eyes start turning a very dark brown, almost black cause you do it so intensely.

Well, there’s an answer, still deciding if he told the truth. I have trust issues that are the main reason for my commitment issues. But he had me hook, line and sinker at that point and I almost pulled him in for a very passionate kiss. But then I stopped myself, it’s a bar and I want someone to pursue me (in broad daylight, mind you) not the other way around.

Early on he told me that he won’t ask a girl her number in a bar the first time he meets her. So when he had to leave, he gave me a very nice hug, longer than he should have and told me he’ll see me next time. Now I can’t help but wonder when or if there will be a next time…

Hen’s Party!

A very wise man (My Dad of course) gave me some great advice on Friday night. I was complaining about how tired I was of studying the whole time. I knew exactly what he was going to tell me, or I thought I did. He always tells me how important it is for me to just stay strong and keep studying, until the end. But this time he caught me completely off guard.

My Dad: Put away your books right now, and have fun with your friends the whole weekend.
Me: So I’ll study tonight and then join them on Saturday night and then I’ll study on Sunday again. (Clicking what he just said) What? Not study this weekend? You never tell me not to study. What’s the catch?
MD: Just enjoy the weekend and study hard on Monday again.
Me: Are you drinking or on drugs?
MD: No Sam, I’m not.
Me: (Speechless)

So I put away my books, and had an absolutely fantastic weekend of which you are going to hear every little detail, cause that’s what I do. I also analyze everything. So brace yourself.
The Hen’s party was a huge success thanks to all the effort the Confidant with the Socialite by her side put into it. I would have helped more, but we wanted to surprise the Bride and seeing as I’m living with her I had to be very careful. We dressed her up in a French Maids outfit, gave her a jar and told her to collect money for the wedding in the Mall. She was a great sport and everybody loved her. They then took her to one of the dodgy bars where all the old men bought them loads of shooters.
While they were doing that, I was frantically trying to get the house ready for the party and playing hostess to all the guests. I looked like a chameleon on a skittles wrapper. There was so many things to do, I didn’t know where to start. I had no choice but to start delegating jobs to the guests seeing as the Confidant and Socialite was fucking horribly late picking up the Bride. I was under the impression that they only went to the mall. And Ponsie did inform them that I won’t be happy when I found out they went to a bar without me. As you can imagine, I wasn’t happy, cause I was stressing my ass off while they were drinking and having fun. When they finally arrived at the party, they were all quite tipsy, especially the Bride. But when I saw how happy they all were, and the effort they put in to it make it a success my irritation vanished. The Socialite & Confidant made a punch, quite a lethal one also some jello shots. They dumped almost 5 bottles of vodka in the punch which needed even more energade and sprite to camouflage the vodka taste. Needless to say, the fridge is stocked with punch which will be made into slush puppies for the housewarming. I can even become an alcoholic before my exam on Friday if I wanted to. “They tried to make me go to rehab and I said no, no, no.”
After the party a couple of us, including the bride in her French Maid outfit went out. This was without any doubt the best part of my weekend. Thanks to all the froggies who were in complimentary mode, I felt absolutely gorgeous all night long. Unfortunately also violated at times, but I’ll tell in excruciating detail about it tomorrow!
Our poor “Domestic Worker” (in SA you may not use maid), is having one hell of a bad day at work. The house is covered in popped condoms, Bananas covered with condoms, streamers that got wet and stained everything and unfortunately the hubbly coal burnt a great fat hole into the carpet, but I haven’t shown anyone that yet. I’m hoping the DM will do some miracle today and fix it, she’s is an absolute angel but I don’t think even she’s gonna save me from the carpet disaster. Oh shit you say, exactly my worlds. But I’m not letting anything spoil my blissfully wonderful weekend, so I’m choosing to ignore the problem until I'm asked about it. Don't think I'll be using the hubbly inside the house again.

Wedding Bells

I always had this idyllic picture of getting married, in my mind it looked something like this:



What they don’t tell you is that it only looks like this on the Wedding day. The month before the big day it’s an absolute war zone more like this:

My new housemate is getting married on the 14th of February, so I have also been eating, breathing and living wedding. This would have been complete torture for me if I was still in the Husband phase, luckily I'm over it. Phew dodged a bullet there. (Explanation: I have two phases, The husband phase which includes getting married and the dog phase - getting one as soon as I move.) I must say, I’m learning quite a lot. Some of the most important things that I’ve learned is:

*The Groom has absofuckinglutely no clue what hard work planning a wedding is.

A Woman’s rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.

*Don’t start a new job, open an Occupational Therapy Practice and get married at the same time.
*Don’t ask the Groom for his opinion; this will only immensely upset you.
*Try not to talk to your mother too often; this also has the tendency to upset you. (The Brides mother has decided to turn the place where she’s getting dressed into a hair saloon. This means, the Mother in law, Mother, all the grannies, cousin’s etcetera will be doing their hair in the room the bride is supposed to be getting dressed in. I see a potential drama…)
*Get a designer that doubles as a therapist to make your dress, this will calm you.
*And most importantly, if you’re planning your own wedding and not using a wedding planner be prepared for some damn hard work and learn to delegate.

Well enough of all the wedding bliss, this weekend is the Hen’s Party! I can’t wait, If people didn’t know any better they’d think it was my party! The Confidant, Socialite and Ponsie (who I haven’t seen in more than a year!) are all coming. Saturday night is going to be an absolute blast and if Ponsie is back in full SA form it’s going to be hilarious. She does the craziest things. We’ve organized the Octopus to shamelessly flirt with the Bride and beg her not to get married. He’s very excited, this comes naturally to him and this time he actually has permission to pursue a lady. Did I mention that he is hot, don’t think so. Well he is, but he has the fastest hands I ever seen. Just when you think you’ve dodged them, he finds another inappropriate place to plant them. Anyhow, it’s gonna be huge fun, cause she’s quite conservative, but also a sport!

Hopefully I’ll behave myself, but it’s been awhile since the last time I had some fun, so I’m afraid if they let me loose there just might be no stopping me! I CAN NOT WAIT!!!

If you can afford me

I think that when it comes to men, a lot of girls tend to settle for a lot less than they should. Sometimes you just get tired of it all and you decide that this just might be as good as it gets.
Well Ladies, let me tell you, I also miss being held and having someone tell me I’m gorgeous, interesting and fantastic. But you should never ever settle for second best. I read somewhere that you shouldn’t wait for someone to bring you flowers, you should plant your own garden and decorate you own soul. This all sounds very good and inspiring in theory, but lets face it, it doesn’t quite work in real life. In real life you want to feel a hot summers kiss, you want to feel the sweat after the body bliss, you want your eyes to meet a romantic glare, you want to feel the numbness of your skin after you’ve felt the warmest touch, feel the blood pumping through your body after the body rush and find a friend who’s voice you’d know anywhere. (Stolen from Jann Arden’s Insensitive, very cool song. Check it out) If this is NOT how you feel, it’s NOT as good as it’s going to get for you, cause there’s something much better out there for you.
I’ve tried to get this from one night stands, but you only feel it so intensely as you should if you’re with someone special, someone who knows you and gets you. I’m prone to try and get as much as I can of these things in a one night stand, and it’s not the physical things I’m after, it’s the closeness and intimacy I crave. Knowing this, I’m seriously working on my commitment issues, cause I’m getting tired of kissing Prince Charmings that turn out to be Frogs. Damn, they’re clever little bastards those Prince Charmings, you only find out their real nature when your already in over your head. I’m currently not dating, because of this. But I don’t want to be a bitter old spinster lady at the youthful age of almost 24. So I’m keeping my options open and I’ve decided that when it comes to bars and clubs, meeting men should be done very cautiously. In the very wise word of Ms. Perry:

If you can afford me – Katy Perry

If you want me, a cherry on top,
The pick of the peck, The crème de la crop.

If you want me you better do better than that tonight.

If you want me, it takes more than a wink,

And more than a drink and more than you think.

If you want me you're gonna have to break the bank, tonight.

'Cause some don't have the patience,

Some call me high-maintenance

But you pay the bill, 'cause, that's the deal.

If you wanna ride, just name your price,

And don't play cheap with your heart

Don't make a bet if you can't write the cheque, for me, for me.

'Cause I can be bought,

but you'll pay the cost

If you can afford me

If you want me, I'm not a piece of ass,

A one night stand, a storage shed

I think you better walk by, tonight

If you want me, then stop begging

I don't put out for charity

If you want me there's no discount price tonight.

But I don't need your dollar bills

I just want something real

'Cause nothing's free, except a lovin' me

So ladies, there you have it. Your worth much, so much more than even you might think. You should never settle for something if you believe in your heart that there’s something better out there for you. Beware of Bars, Clubs and the one night stands that go with them if the only thing you really want is the hug at the end. If your only looking for some fun, enjoy every ecstatic moment of the one night stand just remember the wise words written on a sign above a mirror in a women’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA:

You’re too good for him

Lastly, some advice from the sexy Dr. Alex Karev (Grey's Anatomy)

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something.

You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head,

so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere.

A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air.

You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to.

Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

Did you know...

I normally don't post twice on one day, but I found the most interesting piece of useless information that's completely amusing to me.

Did you know...

... that today is No Flirting in Public Day? In 1902, the first bill to outlaw flirting in public was introduced in to the New York state legislature.

Imagine that! They would've most certainly locked me up, I just Luuuuurv flirting, especially intoxicated in public. It's a reaaaaaaaaally good thing I'm not going out tonight. This little tit bit of information would have definitely been my way to start a conversation. Just think of all the corny, embarrassing pick up lines you can derive from this little fact....

Note to self: DO NOT THINK ABOUT THIS. If you start thinking about this it just might be the first thing that pops into your head next time you've indulged in some red wine and see an unexpecting frog pass by.

Well Girls, have a fantastic weekend and DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use this information as a way to start a conversation, embarrassment is inevitable.

What will the future hold...

"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone."
-- Orison Swett Marden

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it’s just really shit that things do happen. I got retrenched, but without the nice retrenchment package, just retrenched. Though you might be thinking that it’s because of the crap state of the economy, although it probably also played a part, it’s because of the selfish, fraud committing Ex Boss. So I got mad at him all over again. There are quite a couple of people that have to get new jobs now, seeing that he has all the profit of the project. And I’ll most probably have to testify in court, the company is laying a criminal charge against him. When things like this happen, this is my quote:

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well."
-- Jack London

This just might be a blessing in disguise; I’ve wanted to move for the past year. And now I have to move. Everyone that moved away was so afraid of the unknown, I can’t wait to be in the unknown. I would love to have the opportunity to make a new start, have new adventures, make new friends, meet new frogs ;-) and just be somewhere no one knows me yet. Everything has gotten to be so predictable.

Now I just have to get that degree, which will hopefully mean a better work for me and doing what I was meant to do. But I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m really scared that I won’t have a work in March. Luckily Superwoman has my back, and if all goes according to plan I’ll also be a beach babe at the beginning of March.

I think I’ll ask my cousin to teach me how to surf, this is bound to be absolutely hilarious. If I don’t get it right, which I probably won’t (I’m no good at water sports) at least I’ll be entertaining the people on the beach, I do love the spotlight!

It’s finally weekend, too bad I have to study. Maybe not, I have this nagging feeling inside me to do something exciting, and for me, exciting usually means trouble. So I’m being a good girl this weekend.

As we get older…

Seeing that today is the Confidants birthday, I’ve decided this post is specially for her. Living together last year I don’t think I said thank you nearly enough for everything she did for me and meant to me. Don’t worry other BFF’s you’ll get your chance when it’s your birthday. So here goes:

Thank you for

1. For encouraging me to start this here blog. Through it I’m starting to rediscover passions (other than frogs) that I’ve long forgotten. I’m slowly finding myself again. And of course being my first follower.
2. Not killing me, if I were you, I might have seriously considered it. I drive myself crazy sometimes.
3. For helping me become a more tidy and neat person. I actually like going into my room these days.
4. For literally dragging me away from Reitz, it would have been an absolute disaster if I stayed. (Ps. Never drunkenly try to show your ex that you don’t care anymore, it looks sad and desperate, not carefree like you intended.)
5. Being kidnapped with me at the housewarming, I had a blast and just love telling that story to people, especially the part where you decided to swim.
6. For not freaking out and judging when you find random frogs in the kitchen/bathroom/my bed. I would have warned you if I thought of it, but quite obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly when I brought them home.
7. Being there for me when the Rugby Player and Commitment Phobe broke my heart, and letting me whine endlessly about it. I’m not gonna go into this, you know.
8. Showing me how to handle a family crisis. Just remember, I love teasing you about your family, but I love them to death and if I had the energy I would have tried to marry your Single Brother just to be a part of all the craziness.
9. For introducing me to wine, beer and whisky. I’m a changed woman.
10. Teaching me that when you cook, and it’s end of the month, almost anything can go together. Also all the fusion cooking (Hilda se soet/suur kombinasies kan maar gaan slaap).
11. Dealing with all the crying, ranting and raving when I found out the Ex Boss committed fraud and made me, unknowingly a part of it.
12. Helping me strengthen my Faith and know that through God anything is possible.
13. The talks on the steps at the back porch where I poured out my heart and soul.
14. Making me love dogs.
15. Being my friend, believing in me and just loving me for my crazy self.

There’s still a million things I have to thank you for, but considering I still have a whole lifetime of friendship to say them, I’m just gonna say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope the next year is a wonderful, fun, exciting and adventurous year! I luv you my friend!

Ps. I forgot one. Thank you for not abandoning me that time the horse ran away with me, I was scared shitless and very mad at the Damselfly & Partner in Crime for causing it. If Horsie didn't stop by itself I know you would have saved me.

Holiday Continued...

Durban

I love going to Durban. The shopping is great, the people are chill and you’re always guaranteed a good tan. I spent the week at my Aunt’s, she’s my Superwoman. I just love her too bits. My Mom died when I was 15, and she became my second Mom, Aunt, best friend and role model. She really is one hell of a woman. Everyone likes her, she’ll do anything to help the people she loves and even those she doesn’t. And best of all, she excepts me and loves me just the way I am, even though I can be kinda obsessive and crazy at times. I spent the whole week only moving between the pool, Jacuzzi and getting toasty in the sun. People from the Free State tend to overdo it when they get to the coast, so I became a lovely shade of red two days into my holiday. Luckily I haven’t started peeling, so I think I just might keep my tan. (My Granny told me that I look healthy for a change! I thought that I did look healthy, pale was the new tan for me, or apparently maybe it wasn’t). It was great being with them. Unfortunately, my Uncle who parties like a 20 year old, (although this sound pretty fun, and I love partying with him, it stops being fun when he also acts like a 20 year old.) He’s leaving my Aunt. I suppose he wants to get himself a 20 year old to party with. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. I think I know why, it’s because there’s always more shit on the other side to keep the grass nice and green. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. Why would you leave Superwoman? How do you just wake up one morning and tell the person you have 2 children with and been married to for 18 years that you just one day stopped loving them? I’ve always thought that the foundation you build a marriage on is friendship. How do you stop loving a friend? I’ve always wanted to get married, but now I’m seriously reconsidering it. Anyway, so the first week turned out to be kind off a fuck up.

Knysna

Knysna is a beautiful town on the garden route in the Cape. It was nice to see it, but if I could choose I would spend only two days there. It’s too busy; the traffic is hectic during December because the town doesn’t have the infrastructure for so many people, especially not from Gauteng. With the way those people drive, going to town is a terrifying experience. We spent the week with the step family. I was the first holiday we had together. I think it went particularly well, considering the absolutely different way we were brought up. My Stepmother is very, very against drinking. And I like to drink, I like to party and when I do, I don’t go home until the sun is shining. As you can imagine this was a potential problem. Her offspring also does it, they just hide it. I don’t. I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I am not. However to keep the peace, I behaved. We only went out one night and I had one hell of a good time batting all the youthful little frogs trying to get me to kiss them. At one stage I actually started feeling quite old. It seemed to me that everyone was younger than 20. The Arty sis was missing her boyfriend so she was telling all the little frogs that she’s getting engaged next year and redirected them to me and the Little Sis. Little Sis was having a ball, while I was trying to get rid of all the kids. Although I am a firm believer of getting him young so that you can raise him perfectly, I wasn’t up for it. I was supposed to be resting, not working! Seeing as I hadn’t learned my lesson the first time, I burned again. This time only my legs. I looked like a crayfish. This wasn’t entirely my fault. Before we went to the beach, I only had time to put some body lotion on my legs. What I didn’t take into consideration was the fact that my body lotion contained oil. Big, Big mistake.

So that was my holiday, all over now. I have to study for my re-assessment, when I get home from work every damn day. Having a bit of difficulty doing that, but it’s my last one for my degree, so I’m gonna study hard. I think I’m driving my new housemate crazy, I’ve got so much too say the last couple of days. Work’s boring, and my brain is in absolute overdrive. I miss all my BFF’s, I have 4. I’ve been thinking a lot about the Accountant and how fun and interesting he was. He’s really not my type, well considering that my type is not a good type, I should really consider changing it. I’d like to have him as a friend, and have as much fun again as we did my last night in J-bay. I can’t do more than friendship at this stage. But I’m afraid that if I get his number and call him, he might get the wrong impression. When I finally passed out that night, he thought I was sleeping and he kissed me on my forehead. Now I don’t want to read too much into this, that’s normally not good for starting a friendship, but well… Anyhow, that’s why I miss the Confidant, Damselfly, Socialite and Partner in Crime so much, they would have told me what to do and then I would have gone and done exactly the opposite. Hey, don’t judge! It’s the way I make decisions. But now I’m not sure what the opposite is. So now I’m trying to blog this thing out, hmmmmm. What to do…

Al grown-up, or maybe not quite yet…

I’m almost teary eyed sitting at my desk, I don’t know why Summer holidays should ever end. I had a great time doing absolutely nothing the past 3 weeks. I realized that when I get back to the real world I will hardly have time to breath, so I had to do nothing as much as I could. Okay, maybe I didn’t do absolutely nothing, but pretty damn close. My holiday was divided into 3 different parts. Durban for the first week, Knysna for the second week and Jeffrey bay for the last week. I’m gonna have to split it up in different posts, I just love to talk and I’ll start at the end because it was the best part and I did promise some unsober kissing of frogs.

Jeffrey’s Bay

I had a lot of tension headaches the entire holiday, well considering Superwoman’s divorce and the Step family, it’s only natural. So the day before I went to J-bay. I went on happy pills, I conned them out of the pharmacist cause you need a prescription and I didn’t have one. I’ve never felt better. It only has a calming effect, which was perfect. “Ek was so kalm soos ‘n dagga walm”
J-bay was without any doubt the best part of my holiday. I went to visit the Confidant, she moved to J-bay. What better way to go into the New Year as with one of your BBF by your side!
I had a great time new years, it would have been better if I didn’t have to pee so badly. I couldn’t find a loo or a private place, so I concentrated all the way into the New Year. I got soaked in champagne, we were on the beach (some more water) and it felt like everyone was pouring drinks, my eyes started watering as I stood crossed legged ducking and diving for the drunk people with fireworks. If people can’t drink and drive then they should definitely not be allowed to light fireworks. As I stood there trying to think about anything except having to pee. I noticed how many girls were abundantly drunk and kissing anything remotely resembling a boy. I think if they actually knew who they kissed the previous night they’d be quite nauseous the next day, well I do anticipate they were quite nauseous cause some of them didn’t even realize they had finished drinking their champagne and was desperately sucking on empty champagne bottles.
This is when it hit me, maybe just maybe I’m all grown up now. A couple of years back it was me kissing random frogs on the beach, but I was considerably more sober and the frogs where chosen on looks. I had gone an entire beach holiday without one unsober kissing of a frog. I was so proud of myself, I’m an absolute sucker for a good kiss and I stood strong. And then… the sea breeze sneaked up on me. Unknowingly I took in a deep breath while having an ice cold beer on the deck of the Confidants apartment on my last day in J-bay. You should know that the sea breeze has a terrible effect on my hormones… it makes them crazy. I don’t think there is any logical reason for this, normally it gets me early on when I’m at the coast and doesn’t leave me until I have to leave the coast to save the little bit that is left of my reputation. But the sneaky bastard just waited until I thought I was safe. We were sitting at a table with the Engineer (who has a thing for the Confidant), the Accountant and Sleepy, then I saw him… The next candidate for “Boek soek ‘n Vrou” (Farmer looking for a wife – Popular SA TV program). My ovaries started clapping hands at this perfect specimen for making children. (Please do note: I have no intention of having children or a husband at this current stage of my life, but If I was planning on having children, I’d get his sperm). What I have neglected to say is that I know this frog, better than I probably should. I met him last year at my favorite men’s residence on Campus in a very unsober state. This led to a very public, very embarrassing display of affection. I normally refrain myself from having that much fun kissing in public, but seeing that I’d gotten myself into an euphorically drunk state, I didn’t mind that much. And there he was again, in all his shy adorable glory! I had to speak to him. Faking a pee, I went in search of Best Guy Friend, cause he knew the people who were chatting to the Farmer (I normally don’t date Farmers, but there are exceptions). There, I have my cue. I started chatting to him, he looked uncomfortable. Seeing as I had managed to drink myself out of all tact, I asked him why he looked so uncomfortable. Looking down shyly, he said it’s because I’m so pretty (I didn’t believe a word of it, seeing charmer all over the compliment) but when he said it my knees went weak and my hormones went wild! We made some polite conversation and then he had to leave (the clubs close at 2am in J-bay, what the fuck?). I walked with him down the stairs, with the sea breeze urging me on, we had one glorious, much too short kiss on the stairs. We decided to meet after he had dropped of the guys, unfortunately it didn’t happen. Now any responsible grown-up woman would have gone to bed, but the sea breeze had other plans for me. So me and the Confidant took a doggy bag and took the Engineer, Accountant (who wasn’t boring in the least!) and Sleepy home. Feeling very sorry for myself for not seeing the Farmer again, I started indulging in some red wine. This normally kills all inhibitions for me, but this time it gave me verbal diarrhea. I just couldn’t seem to shut-up. Happy pills working again. As I said, I drank myself out of any tact I might have had. I was just loving myself and playing entertainer to the crowd, who occasionally dozed off. Not that that stopped me or bothered me in the least. Luckily the Accountant found me absolutely mesmerizing and drank in every single word I said. Eventually I fell asleep in his arms, a nice looking frog I might say, very nice but it doesn’t beat having a boyfriend’s arms around you. My Dad came to pick me up about an hour later and I spent an agonizing 10 hours in a car back to the Free State. I almost died.

Well, maybe I’m not as grown-up and responsible as I’d thought, but I had one hell of a time being young and carefree and now I’m not planning to be completely grown-up just yet.