… cause I sure as hell don’t act like a 24 year old. Me & the Socialite had dinner and way, way too much red wine on Friday night to celebrate my birthday. Then we headed into town. Our favorite bar was a bit on the empty side, so we went down the street to have some shooters with Paris Hilton and her posh. Now even more intoxicated, we went dancing.
This is where I started acting very, very maturely (yeah right)
Me: Hallo Random Person I Don’t Know.
RPIDK: Hallo there
Me: It’s my Birthday today!
RPIDK: Well, happy birthday, hope you had a great one.
(RPIDK trying go exit the conversation)
Me: Aaaaand, I got my degree, actually 2 degrees (holding up 2 fingers, just in case he never learnt how to count)
RPIDK: That’s just great. Hope you enjoy your night (making a dive for it, just in case I had something else to say.)
Me: Bye now! Chat later again okay?!
This continued pretty much the whole night, there was however some undesirable frogs who tried to congratulate me with a kiss, yuck. So then I ducked and dived to get away from them. What do they say; “What goes around, comes around”. And then of course there was the absolutely gorgeous frogs, who also gave me congratulatory kisses. Aaahhhh, bliss.
It was my night of saying inappropriate things. One of the celebs, Jurie from Boer soek ‘n vrou. (Farmer looking for a wife, everyone in SA watched this show! Why I don’t know.) Looked really uncomfortable after about 2 minutes with me, can’t exactly remember what I said, but apparently he didn’t think It was as witty as I thought It was.
I then decided to do some marketing, I do have a degree in marketing you know. The lucky candidate was Great Smile. I marketed myself as a great package deal, one month only, the package name “A casual relationship”. Although I know that Great Smile doesn’t do casual, I gave it my best shot. Flirted scandalously, and at the end of the night after I gave him a lingering kiss, I saw a glimpse of definite regret in his eye as he regretfully declined my offer. Before I walked away seductively I cockily told him: “You know you just love kissing me…” And as I turned away there was a very brief glimpse of disappointment in my eye. I didn’t really want the casual relationship deal with him, unfortunately that was all I could offer at this stage. Apparently this package doesn’t sell so well, so I'll definitely be holding it back until I get a better buyer.
That’s when Mr. P text me, and told me how much he enjoyed seeing me again. Not really thinking about the implications this might have, I called him and asked if he wanted to come and have coffee at my house. The sun was almost up, so I thought coffee was appropriate. Not once did it cross my mind that he would actually try to kiss me, but he did and before I knew it, we were in my room. I stood strong, but eventually gave in. I’m only human. Then the most embarrassing thing ever happened, the Socialite walked in on us… and we weren’t holding hands. Oh fuck, yes my words exactly. But we’ve decided that were even now, seeing as I walked in on her in our 3rd year at varsity. Then I had to sneak him out of the house without any of my conservative housemates noticing. I saw a gap, thinking there was finally no one home. Woke him up and told him he had to leave pronto!
Me: (In the garden) It was nice to finally get to know you better
Mr. P: Yes it really was
Me: In more ways than one…
Mr. P: (Just laughed and gave me a kiss goodbye)
When I went inside the house again, I spotted someone through the window… it was the Brides bloody orchestra for the wedding who came to practice in the garden! Oh shit, I immediately knew they must have heard every single word of the above mentioned conversation. So I went into hiding in my room, I wasn’t able to face them. But I’ll have to at the wedding this coming weekend. Yes, yes I know. I’m an embarrassment waiting to happen. I think I should go on Prozac or something cause I can’t keep this up. Well it’s official now. It’s not about wanting to move to another city anymore, now I have to move to another city…
This is where I started acting very, very maturely (yeah right)
Me: Hallo Random Person I Don’t Know.
RPIDK: Hallo there
Me: It’s my Birthday today!
RPIDK: Well, happy birthday, hope you had a great one.
(RPIDK trying go exit the conversation)
Me: Aaaaand, I got my degree, actually 2 degrees (holding up 2 fingers, just in case he never learnt how to count)
RPIDK: That’s just great. Hope you enjoy your night (making a dive for it, just in case I had something else to say.)
Me: Bye now! Chat later again okay?!
This continued pretty much the whole night, there was however some undesirable frogs who tried to congratulate me with a kiss, yuck. So then I ducked and dived to get away from them. What do they say; “What goes around, comes around”. And then of course there was the absolutely gorgeous frogs, who also gave me congratulatory kisses. Aaahhhh, bliss.
It was my night of saying inappropriate things. One of the celebs, Jurie from Boer soek ‘n vrou. (Farmer looking for a wife, everyone in SA watched this show! Why I don’t know.) Looked really uncomfortable after about 2 minutes with me, can’t exactly remember what I said, but apparently he didn’t think It was as witty as I thought It was.
I then decided to do some marketing, I do have a degree in marketing you know. The lucky candidate was Great Smile. I marketed myself as a great package deal, one month only, the package name “A casual relationship”. Although I know that Great Smile doesn’t do casual, I gave it my best shot. Flirted scandalously, and at the end of the night after I gave him a lingering kiss, I saw a glimpse of definite regret in his eye as he regretfully declined my offer. Before I walked away seductively I cockily told him: “You know you just love kissing me…” And as I turned away there was a very brief glimpse of disappointment in my eye. I didn’t really want the casual relationship deal with him, unfortunately that was all I could offer at this stage. Apparently this package doesn’t sell so well, so I'll definitely be holding it back until I get a better buyer.
That’s when Mr. P text me, and told me how much he enjoyed seeing me again. Not really thinking about the implications this might have, I called him and asked if he wanted to come and have coffee at my house. The sun was almost up, so I thought coffee was appropriate. Not once did it cross my mind that he would actually try to kiss me, but he did and before I knew it, we were in my room. I stood strong, but eventually gave in. I’m only human. Then the most embarrassing thing ever happened, the Socialite walked in on us… and we weren’t holding hands. Oh fuck, yes my words exactly. But we’ve decided that were even now, seeing as I walked in on her in our 3rd year at varsity. Then I had to sneak him out of the house without any of my conservative housemates noticing. I saw a gap, thinking there was finally no one home. Woke him up and told him he had to leave pronto!
Me: (In the garden) It was nice to finally get to know you better
Mr. P: Yes it really was
Me: In more ways than one…
Mr. P: (Just laughed and gave me a kiss goodbye)
When I went inside the house again, I spotted someone through the window… it was the Brides bloody orchestra for the wedding who came to practice in the garden! Oh shit, I immediately knew they must have heard every single word of the above mentioned conversation. So I went into hiding in my room, I wasn’t able to face them. But I’ll have to at the wedding this coming weekend. Yes, yes I know. I’m an embarrassment waiting to happen. I think I should go on Prozac or something cause I can’t keep this up. Well it’s official now. It’s not about wanting to move to another city anymore, now I have to move to another city…
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